What if.....

Memandangkan keadaan Negara kita sekaranag yang memerlukan pempinan yang teguh lagi stabil, saya dengan rendah diri mencadangkan perlantikan saya sebagai Perdana Mentri Malaysia. I, ME and MYSELF are convinced that I will do better then Mahathir, Abdullah Badawi, Najib and Daem put together.. With my experience as a businessman BEFORE I enter politics, I am certain that I will be able to amass more wealth for myself, my Family and cronies better then all four of them put together. I am certain that I will be able to offer more lucrative and meaningful bribes to all the Perwakilan in UMNO who will be needed to put me and keep me in that position for the number of terms required (at least three !!!) so that they too can be rich like me, my families and cronies. I will also make sure that there will be no problems with any of my Ministers or the Mentri Besar’s making money from projects under their Ministries or State because all award of tenders above $50K will be decided by me….so only I will make the money. Why a $50K limit – well you have to be fair to these Ministers and Mentri Besars – they too have Families and Cronies to take care of.

What about the corruption in the Police, Custom, Immigration, Puspakom, Treasury…in fact to be fair ..what about corruption in the Government? I think we need to look at the fundamentals involve. Basically corruption is a “willing buyer, willing seller” situation. There has to be someone who is willing to pay for services rendered and of course there must be that guy who is rendering the service. And anybody with any knowledge of economics will know that price (in this case BRIBES) will find its own level where demand meets supply. So once we accept this basic economic principal corruption will no longer be a problem. The Mata Mata, Immigration Officers, Customs etc will no longer eagerly sought offenders for a “selasai” discussion towards the end of the month when money is tight – they know that money is also tight for the giver – so nobody negotiates from a position of strength – again the “willing seller willing buyer” situation comes into play.

What about Nepotism? Come on lah how can my Family influence anything that happens in Malaysia? We are living in Adelaide. We are physically removed from making any contacts with the decision makers in Kuala Lumpur – or for that matter anywhere in Malaysia. I know that my wife is more interested in what specials are going to be on at the supermarkets and my son is still at Uni. Yes my daughter is still in KL with her husband and my grandson – but they will be immigrating to Canada – so no problem there. Of course there will be some amongst you who will question my ability to govern Malaysia effectively from Adelaide – come on lah this is not the 1960’s. There is the internet, call conferencing and all those wonderful electronics gadgets that will allow me to have constant and instantaneous contacts with all my Ministers, Mentri Besars and the Government machinery in Malaysia. ..and don’t forget the Fax machine!! No problem there.

Of course there are other issues that needs to be looked into when the Head of State of Malaysia (that’s me lah!!) continue to live in another country (Australia) – but you must be fair to me. I have only begun to look at this about half an hour ago – it’s only 7am in the morning and I still have not had my cup of Green Tea…so let me think a bit more and when I am more awake we can look at the question of Racial Harmony, ISA, Hindraf, Anwar Ibrahim, Samy Velu and what have you. Re Zaid the ex Law Minister – I have been asked if I will bring him back to reform the Judiciary. Hell NO!! If he was dumb enough to even accept the position in the first place (when he knows full well that he will not be able to last or do anything positive) then he does not have the intelligence to hold that post.MERDEKA.