The Way We Were...and of things to come?

In the past it has been so simple. In any negotiated tender you first factor in your costs plus a hefty profit margin for yourself – then factor in any other costs required. The consultants costs, the JKR costs, the KSU costs, the Ministers costs, UMNO costs etc etc and then add them all together plus a bit more so that your costs can be negotiated down by the evaluation team and every one is happy at the end of the day.

For the close tenders – easier still. You get the names of all the “qualified” tenderer – possibly about four of the class A Bumiputra Contractors – who if not are already your friends, are all known to each other. Everybody collects their own tender documents and if it is agreed that you will get the tender, you then send your Manager to get the tender documents from the other qualified contractors. You complete the tender documents on "behalf" of the other contractors and put what price you want for everyone else making sure that yours is the most competitive. Then you send back these filled tender documents with $10,000 dollars “coffee money” each for the “qualified contractors” to put in their Company Seal and sign and then forwarded to JKR for evaluation. The “tender process” relevant to the negotiated tender is activated and over time a decision will be made to award the tender to you. Game, set and match – no problems and everybody is happy.

For the open tender – it is a bit complicated – but not for the determined. You have to start early. Right from when they start working on the specifications and budget for the tender. You have to ensure that the specifications are written in favor of the equipments that you supply. Delivery dates must also be tailored to a time frame that only you can meet and ensure that the “evaluation team” are your karaoke regulars. No problems there !! 

Then there is the “sahabat” or sweetheart deal. Through the Political process tenders are allocated for other “national interest” - that you are a Bumiputra, that you are a Ketua Bahagian, that you are a crony of the Ketua Bahagian ( just imagine where you will be if you are a crony of the Prime Minister !!!!) etc etc.

If you are very creative you can “propose” projects to the various Ministries. Puspakom (a real money spinner !!), Bakun Dam in Sarawak, Pahang-Selangor Raw Water Transfer Project, the crooked bridge to Singapore project, putting an astronaut into space project, Legoland Malaysia, Eye on Malaysia project…and the list goes on. Its amazing how “creative” these greedy unscrupulous “so called businessmen’ are in coming up with so many ways of milking our country dry. 

Then there is the "one level up" type of deal – PRIVITIZATION – which when measured by the yardstick of MONEY TO BE MADE – is up there with the IPPs (independent power producers), National Interest Projects and out and out “just a grab for money” deals that makes UMNO stalwarts rich. The Ancient Mariner has addressed one of these instances in his Feb. 08 2209 “Another PKFZ in the making…..” article on his Blog and he knows what he is talking about !!!

The list goes on and will merrily go on until our country becomes another tin pot alley basket case economy with nothing else to give to these politicians. It will be interesting if they then propose that Malaysia invade Singapore in order to physically merge the two countries together to solve the problem of whether “to build or not to build” the crooked bridge. Of course if the invasion of Singapore is to proceed, it will be undertaken by an “UMNO” related company headed by a recently retired “Tun". Twenty percent of the actual physical part of the invasion of Singapore will be allocated to Class F Bumiputra Contractors and the balance will be undertaken by Petronas under its Umbrella Concept proposal design to ensure that UMNO contractors become richer quicker.

Down the list of "proposals" under consideration is one that proposes the relocation of Kuala Lumpur to Klang, It is logical because not only will it eliminate the horrendous traffic jams and flooding problems that KL has, it will simultaneously end the Federal Highway daily crawl. The Ancient Mariner will also agree that with KL in Klang the Port will be utilized to its maximum capacity and the proliferation of Water Sports around the Selangor Yatch Club vicinity be a boom to the locals.  Of course with the invasion of Singapore already in progress this sensible relocation of KL to Klang might have to be deferred to a more prudent time frame - possibly by January 2010 but the search for another "TUN" to head this lucrative undertaking will commence without delay. Amen.