TOP TEN SIGNS WHY BARISAN NASIONAL WILL BE CALLING A GENERAL ELECTION VERY SOON

1. To prevent any incident that will compromise Najib’s decision to give the RM 500 Million commission to Razak Baginda MINDEF has instructed Navy Chief Laksama Tan Sri Abdul Aziz Jaafar as well as Commander of the submarine fleet Laksaman Pertama Datuk Pahlawan Mohammad Rosland Omar on the following:

“That the Royal Malaysian navy Scorpene submarine KD Tunku Abdul Rahman and the KD Tun Razak will stay berthed at Sepanggar Naval base in Kota Kinabalu to undergo regular maintenance and address some armament issues indefinitely or until after the 13^th General Elections are over…..…which ever comes first!”.

2. Mahathir has announced an indefinite sabbatical to his ancestor birth place, Kerala (and expects to return only after the 13^th General Election when he hopes to rebuild UMNO from the ashes of the election).

3. UMNO submits an application to the World Bank for additional funding to help finance 13^th General Election on the grounds that “UMNO is too big to Fail”. It is UMNO’s argument that they require ‘adequate funding’ to refill their coffers and meet the ever increasing demand for cash from its elites. The World Bank cite its philosophy of monetary and resource conservatism and suggest that UMNO take corrective measure in the form of resource conservatism (indulge in less money politics) and practice temperament and an urgency in common sense (stop buying votes – try winning votes the proper way – good governance) in order to stay afloat financially.

4. Japanese corporate companies who prefers to work with an incoming Prime Minister rather then the incumbent in order to maximize their bargaining strength are now spending their time and money in Penang – specifically looking for industrial sites in Cherok Tok Kun - a small village in Province Wellesley, Penang, Malaysia.

5. Everyone agrees that saying that UMNO will eventually lose a general election is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The 13^th general election is as good a time as any for this to happen.

6. In a tearful speech at a celebratory dinner to welcome Razak’s Baginda return to Malaysia, Najib announces his intention to retire from public life “at the right moment”. Din who was present at the dinner could not persuade Najib to delay his announcement until he was DPM.

7. UMNO’s strategist has already created spreadsheet and graphs to show that money politics, greed and corruption will be much cheaper when UMNO are not in government.

8. EPU has restructured itself and issued new guidelines that will enable it to evaluate any mega projects within 90 days from the time the proposal is submitted to EPU – with or without the relevant costing, EIA report etc.

9. The Attorney General had formed a task force to look into claims by Pakatan Rakyat that UMNO intends to declare the 13^th General Election as unconstitutional. In line with the Government instruction for all Government Ministries to multi task the same task force will be given the job of exploring under what circumstances can UMNO declare a national emergency, impose rule by decree and declare all opposition political parties illegal.    

10.              Isa Samad refuses to accept Federal appointment as Minister of Federal Territories. (He believes he will not have time to recoup any “investment” he would have to make in another Federal election. He has yet to recoup his investment from the Bagan Pinang buy-election!)…a lot of buying mah!