cakap cakap....LIFE.

For those of you who read what I write in my blog you might have noticed that I have not written much these last few weeks.

I am tired. My brain is tired, my physical self has grown weary because old age is catching up with me and I have lost some of the Ummph! that has driven me to write as often as I did in the past…..and the fact that the World Cup and Wimbledon is on at the same time, does not help!

I have gone off Nescafe – the drop of nectar that I had once needed early in the morning to get me going and at any other time of the day or night to keep me awake because my son says that caffeine is not good for me…notice his use of words…not that it is bad for me, but that it is not good for me. He tells me that Green Tea is better…..and so it is green tea for me in place of Nescafe …….and I kid you not…it is good for me! My body is my temple so only good things may enter it…and green tea is good.

Taking care of my wife has become part of our life now – both for me and my son. It is a good part of our life because in taking care of her all of us – my wife, my son and myself  - have become more aware of each other existence. We talk more to each other, eat together more often and look out for each other more often then we use to do. 

There have been times when my patience runs out because I forget that my wife has dementia and I take her forgetfulness as a personal affront to me. Let me give you an example.

I cook lunch….fillet of seasoned fish with thinly sliced grilled egg plant, grilled tomato and grilled green capsican -  all seasoned with salt and pepper….with watermelon for dessert. The effort of preparing lunch tires me out. I proudly put the dish in front of her to eat. She thanks me and start eating…she chews but she does not swallow. The Doctor has told me that she does remember to chew but her brain sometimes forgets to tells her to swallow. So I tell her to slow down and to swallow.  She does not do so…..and very soon I lose my temper. 

My son hears me raising my voice and comes out of his room and removes the plate from his mothers reach and waits until she does swallow and then allows her to take another bite ….problem solved. He has the patient…I don’t….but I wake up each morning telling myself that this is the day when I will not lose my patience with my wife….and still I do. And so it goes on …..but I am learning and trying. I know it gets easier every day, not harder, because I really really do not want to lose my patience with my wife!  

And then the other day I read about this bloody Adnan idiot banning Soup Kitchens from the center of the city! Aisehman how not to get upset! Did he not stopped to consider the ramification of his decisions? This is a no-brainer! Anybody with half a brain would know that banning a soup kitchen that feeds hungry people who cannot afford to feed themselves is wrong….anybody but this Adnan Mansor! Jesus Chirst Adnan…where were you when God was giving out brains? The more I thought about it the more I wanted to have my two cents say about it….and so I started writing again…..thanks to Adnan!