Monday, 24 December 2012

To those of you that thinks that I am getting too serious with my blog, too committed to high ideals and impossible levels of decency and openness in government and too full of myself for my own is proof that I am not.

Steadyaku47 comment: With thanks to Pat from The English Cottage.  

Sounds dirty? It really isn't, you know!

Top 10 things that sound dirty - but, in a law firm, are not: 

 10. Have you looked through her briefs?
 9. He is one hard judge.
 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
 7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
 6. Is it a penal offense?
 5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
 3. Can you get him to drop his suit? 

 2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

 And the number one thing that sounds dirty but in law, isn't is:

1. Think you can get me off?

The Top 10 things that sound dirty, but in the office, are not:

 10. I need to whip it out by 5.
 9. Mind if I use your laptop?
 8. Just stick it in my box.
 7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
 5. Hmmm, I think it's out of fluid!
 4. Your equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish.
 3. It's an entry-level position.
 2. When do you think you'll be getting it off today?

 And the number one thing that sounds dirty but at the office, isn't is:

   1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

The Top 10 things that sound dirty, but in golf, are not:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
 9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
 7. Look at the size of his putter.
 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
 5. Mind if I join your threesome?
 4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
 3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!
 2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

 And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't is:

1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!