Aiyah...saw this on Susan's facebook page and simply must share it with you guys...nice way to start Sunday morning. Tqs Susan!
Getting There:
Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure.
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed.
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget.
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget.
steadyaku47 comment:
Reminded me of my MCKK school days when the quiet of the Library was shattered when the Librarian held up a pen he found on one of the tables there and asked loudly " Who belong this pen?"
If you go through the brochure again you can understand why there so many damm Chinese anywhere you look....there is so much emphasis on sex! ......"pleasure, intercourse, adultery, conjugate, exposing yourself, having babies, play with yourself, fiddling, private parts, being on heat, obscenity, taking advantage of the chambermaid"...aiyah don't these Chinese have anything else on their mind?
If you go through the brochure again you can understand why there so many damm Chinese anywhere you look....there is so much emphasis on sex! ......"pleasure, intercourse, adultery, conjugate, exposing yourself, having babies, play with yourself, fiddling, private parts, being on heat, obscenity, taking advantage of the chambermaid"...aiyah don't these Chinese have anything else on their mind?
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