Anwar, Najib and Samy Velu were walking along Jalan Chow Kit when they find a Lamp and a Genie comes out and says that he will give each one of them a wish. Najib is first and he wishes that him and all members of UMNO would immediately go to heaven and they could all be happy in paradise. Wish granted. Then Samy Velu wishes that he and all MIC members could go back to their homeland and lived happily ever after as well. Bang and they were back in their Motherland. Then it was Anwar’s turn for anything he wanted. Anwar says “I can wish for anything and Najib and all the Umno guys are in heaven, and Samy and all MIC members are in Madras?” “Yes” said the Genie. “Alright” said Anwar “ I will have a coke”.
Mahathir, Najib and Samy were shipwrecked of the East Coast of AFRICA and were captured by cannibals. The Cannibal King then told the three men that they could live if they could find a fruit in the forest that he had never heard of. But if he knows the fruit they would be punished, cooked and eaten.
All three immediately ran off to try and find a fruit that the chief had never seen before. After much effort they manage to find the ship that they were in and Najib found a langsat – which he was sure the chief had never seen before. He ran triumphantly back to the cannibals and said “Chief Chief I found a…….” The Cheif stopped him short and said “I know that is a Langsat” As a punishment they shove the langsat up his ass. He yelled in pain as they threw him into the pot to be cooked.
Next to come back was Mahathir. He had found a Rambutan on the ship. He yelled “Chief chief I found a ramb….” The Chief stopped him and said “I know that is a rambutan”. So they shove the rambutan up Mahathir’s ass. But instead of being in pain, Mahathir was laughing his head of. So the Najib asked him why he was laughing? Mahathir said “Samy Velu is bringing a Durian”.
What did one cannibal say to another? "I never met a UMNO man I didn't like"
Q: Why did the Blondie try and steal a police car?
A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blond and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
- Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
- Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
- Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
- Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
- If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
- I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
- I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!