12.58AM Melbourne. Wednesday 9th June 2016.
A few moments ago while fiddling with the Photo Booth Apps on my MAC I snapped the above image of me....and as I looked deeply at my own image and into the face that was of me....I realized that I am growing tired of Life. I have done all that I have wanted to do, lived wherever I have wanted to live, done this and done that...and I seem to have finally settled into a place in Life that tells me that I am almost done with Life.
Maybe "almost done" may not be an appropriate word to use because it conveys much negativity....that I am waiting for death to come. I am not!
Maybe the word I should use should be "comfortable"....that I am "comfortable" with my Life now and there are no more things that can truly move me to do anything more than what I am now doing to get by with Life. Not World Peace, not the fight against poverty, not even any thoughts to help the homeless that I see around me on the streets of Melbourne. I look upon all these things with a tired eye and my heart is not moved to help or to assist.
So why, I ask myself, am I still working on steadyaku47?
The selfish answer would be that I am doing steadyaku47 for me! It keeps my brains agile, my time occupied and it does wonders to my ego to have you all read what I write. All of that is true! It is also true that I have many story to tell of my time in Malaysia and time and distance have not diminished the feelings and memories within me of those times....and so I write. It is all about I, me and myself!
Do not be too harsh with these "confessions" of mine. It is just another "cakap cakap" so that you can understand the me that writes in steadyaku47.
I never tire of telling you all "Thank you for reading what I write" because however selfish I am in my work at steadyaku47, having you all read what I write makes my "syiok sendiri" a bit more relevant to life as we know it now, in Bolehland.