Life is a constant motion. Sometimes you get to choose how you live it. Sometimes you don't. I consider myself as one of those people who live life as I choose to live it. It was a decision I made before I was past my teens and with that decision has come that familiar refrain ..."you make the bed you lie in"....and when all is said and done, that is why at 70,I find myself living in Melbourne.....and for the past decade or so I have also been a blogger writing mostly about current affairs in Malaysia and life as I see it.
That part of my life that I also share with you all is that my wife was diagnosed with Dementia about five years back and from time to time I have written about how we have both adjusted to the realities of what Dementia does to those who are afflicted with it. For us, in these past years, it has taken from my life partner the ability to talk, walk or do anything physically for herself. My wife's ability to think for herself is still suspect for in periods of lucidity she is still able to "tell" us, through her eyes and facial expressions what she thinks of situations and her likes and dislikes of the things we or anyone else does for her....but all this is done silently and it up to us to recognise these reactions of hers for, as I have said earlier....she no longer speaks.
Those of you who have loves ones affected by Dementia, will know that there is no cure for Dementia. Dementia only takes from you...it never gives.
Five years down the road after my wife was first diagonsed with Dementia, taking care of her takes more than my effort and my time. It has not come to a 24/7 thing...but in time it will. I have never been more ready for anything in my life as I am now in living my life with my wife today and all that it will take from both of us, to do that.
Do not feel sorry for us for we still have each other. I cannot remember a time in these last few years when I did not greet her first thing in the morning with a kiss and a smile and said good night to her with a kiss and a smile. There have been times when I have been upset with myself for not having the focus and patience to do things for her but all this is being upset at myself...not at her.....and for a very very long time...for many many years...my wife has never ever been upset with me for anything at all. Our life is good.
My wife is seventy three this year, and I am seventy. The two of us have our son to also take care of us. There will be times when I will still want to have my say about what is happening back in K Hell and about things that matters to me elsewhere but the business of living what is left of my life and life with my wife, now comes first. This is what I choose to do and this is what I will do.