I
never knew too much about my father. I would have liked to have been able to
sit down with him and talk about his courtship of my mother who was his first
cousin. I would have liked to ask him about his first car, his time in Langkawi
and Pendang – places I know he served but I was too young to remember. I would
want to talk to him about his time in London and see how it compared to my time
in London…and I would have loved to be able to ask him about his time serving
in the Police under Fenner, Tan Sri Hussein, Tun Salleh, Tan Sri Rahman and Tun
Haniff. But I left for MCKK very early in my life and after MCKK I have never
been able to get back the Father that I left when I left for MCKK.
I
wish I had access to his papers and the personal files and documents that he
left behind because he spent a lot of time on his computer after my mother
passed away but all that are in the hands of my brothers and I know that I will
never see them.
I
know that my descendants will know much more about me that what I know of my
father through this blog! Even fifty years from now all that my great great
grandchildren have to do is click steadyaku47 and they can read to their hearts
contents about me, my wife, my family, my thoughts and everything else there is
to know about me – all here on my blog!
But
I also hope that they do not try to make too much of what I write. I hope they
will not say that Tok or Atuk must have been so anti government and that is why
he lived in Australia. The reason I live in Australia is because I want to. I
write about everything. You can find articles that I write in praise of
Mahathir, Najib, Anwar and even Kit Siang. You can also find article I write
that are critical of them. I write in praise of Abang Lah and against Abang
Lah…and if my grand daughter Isabel wants to understand why, she can always
asks her mother!
Isabel with Abang Lah |
What
I hope is that what I write does make them think about life, about people and
about what our country Malaysia, has been through these last few decades. You
see my grand daughters are now living in Canada and I expect them to have
little or no memory of what Malaysia was like for I know they will grow up to
be Canadians.
This
is happening a lot in Malaysia today. Families are migrating. Families are
being torn apart as the younger generation leave their parents to seek a better
life elsewhere. Some are even prepared to allow their children to settle
overseas after their studies while they still continue to live in Malaysia
because they are too old or too set in their ways to leave. I know the
heartaches of having loved ones living in another country away from you. I know
that they will come a time when you are too old to visit them even if you can
afford to do so and then you have to come to terms with not seeing them any
more.
I
have met too many Malaysian who are in the same situation as me and the most we
can do is to hope that all will be well with them. But time heals everything
and when enough time has passed you will be missed no more. That is why I am
grateful to have started this blog almost four years ago and I will keep
writing for as long as I can tap the keyboard of my PC. Just thinking about
what my great great grandchildren (who has not been born yet!) will think about
when they read what I write makes me smile….and I write this at 11.08 PM on a
Tuesday 12th November
in 2013. Amen.
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