It has been one of those nights…..I have been falling in and out of sleep but deep sleep will not come. It is now 5.04 AM and the first tram of the morning just went by. I think its time I woke up and make some use of my time by putting words to my thoughts.
This are the best time to hear your self think. It is so quiet that your thoughts have time to develop and become what you want of it…you talk to it and it talks back. You ask it to go to places that you have never been to see if you can adjust to different realities, to different circumstances and it will do just that. Your mind is a powerful tool you use for good or evil…and if you are focused, it will take you through any circumstance, any adversity, any trials and any tribulations with ease.
My mind and the Internet, when working insync, never fail to impress me. These last few hours I have gone from the last moments of Mandela as related by his first wife Winnie to the life of Castro and the things they both have done in their lifetime. Both men iconic in stature, both men achieving more that what you or I can ever imagine. And yet in death did Mandela leave South Africa a better place then the one he was born into?
By all accounts it would seem to be so. He did more for South Africa than he did for himself. He did more for the world than what many others did and he did it all by being true to himself. He lived life in the full glare of everyone of us and he was not found wanting in his love for the well being of his South Africa, in his wish for all of us to be more tolerant of each other and most humbling for all of us…in his humility in spite of his own greatness.
With him gone there is now only one other iconic human being left of his stature…Aung San Suu Kyi. She has yet to reach her full potential for her country and for her people. That can only happen when she has the opportunity to lead her nation politically but for now her life so far is amazing. With no guns, no tanks and no army she has carved for herself a place in Myanmar that defies understanding. How could she go against a repressive all powerful regime that has dominated Myanmar in all aspects and survive? How could she endure decades of house arrest and still remain relevant to Burma and to the world at large. In her we see that spirit that enables many of us to live through adversity and to have hope that eventually good will triumph…and she is still to do her life greatest work….to lead Myanmar. I hope we can be witness to that soon.
And then my thoughts turn to Malaysia. Invariable when I think of Malaysia I think first of KL. Traffic chaos, everything happening seems to be just beyond your control and impossible to manage and you know that in the end it will not be all right. Everywhere there is organized chaos and everyone is going nowhere much too fast. You try to keep up with the pace of life around you but you know that things are spiraling out of your control. When do you give up? Can you give up…because giving up means you are giving up life! KL is not a nice place to be unless you can isolate yourself from the madness. From where I am today I wondered why it took me so long to leave and I am mindful and grateful that I am one of those fortunate ones that can leave.
I talk too much on matters that only concerns me and not others….maaf…but in your moments of silence and quiet do you not think of the same things too?