This morning I so wanted to put my Mac away and see if there is life after blogging. For you see this blogging thing is consuming me, body, heart and soul....but it consumes me in a good way for every time one of you read what I write I am energized and my resolve to work on my blog is renewed...but for how long can I keep this pace...for how long can I update this blog daily....sometimes many times daily? Some times you answer those questions yourselves as Alfred did when he commented on my piece yesterday "cakap cakap....LIFE"
A beautiful piece of writing sir.You have aptly described what I feel. Tq for that. I visit your blog daily. This is the first time I m commenting here. Nice to meet you. Take care
Sometimes I answer those doubts myself by wanting to sit at my keyboard as soon as my work to tidy the remnants of a life lived yesterday without domestic help is done in the morning. I was awake at 6AM...and at my Mac by 8AM....telling myself that "This Keyboard soldier" is ready to rumble"....with that cup of Nescafe by my side....and the aroma of coffee wafting around the vicinity of my desk!
And so my day, and the weekend, starts.
I was thinking about my parents this morning.....both aruahs...Hamid Latiff and Zaharah Ambak. These two were good people...good not because they are my parents...but good people in the sense that their life was lived for each other and us, their children. They were first cousins and knew each other from the time they were young....very young. Every family gatherings for them must have been wonderful times for they must have seen each other at these gatherings. When they did fell in love I do not know, for the era that my father comes from...these things are never discussed or mention to your children. Suffice to say that from what I see of their marriage I have endeavored to do the same with mine....always the family is your life....always, always and always. I am sure that the last conscious thoughts of my late father must have been of his wife, my mother.
In thinking of them I also asked myself if how they have lived their life matters to others. In all these years of blogging, from time to time, I have had people tell me that they did work with my late father while he was in the Police.....and one phrase was always used to describe him "dia bukan cari makan punya orang"...meaning that he is not a corrupt police officer ....and his boss, Tun Haniff did tell me "Yr father was xMSS (Malayan Secret Service) which means that he was a good SB officer in the FMS police before WW2, was selected and taken out to join the MSS, a pan-Malayan super SB secret service formed hurriedly to face up to the looming Japanese invasion of Malaya".
My mother, God bless her soul, is not unlike my wife....or should I say my wife is like my mother! Their family is their world. Goodness, in every sense of the word, flows within them and in their every act in life. Oh yes my mother and my wife did have their disagreements with me but the fault, more often than not, was always mine. Those of you who have been reading what I write of my wife will know that she has had dementia for the last four years. She can no longer talk, walk or take care of herself...all this I and my son do willingly for her....but even in her present state she has never had time for self pity.....life is good.
As I said a paragragh ago....I have asked myself if how my father and mother lived their lives....in fact if how your own parents lived their lives....matters? Think of it.....does it really matters in the scheme of things that is now happening around you? If I am to be truthful to myself...I think not!
The lives of those that came before us matters to their immediate family circle - to their children. In my case, from seeing how my parents lived their lives, I know that my wife is my life.....my children comes next....and beyond that circle it diminishes in importance as the ripples of life flows further. So go figure out for yourself if you should live your life for others!
Okay that will do for now...I am getting too abstract in my thoughts! It's 9.22 AM and time to write about the things that you expect me to write....nudge nudge wink wink...you know and I know what that is! Lawan mesti lawan!