I do not mind telling you guys that there are times when I question what is it that I am doing...day in and day out...writing...writing ...and writing about my beloved Malaysia.
Not about the Malaysia that I grew up in when Malays treat other Malays with respect and grace. Then, our elders, no matter what their standing in the community, were invariably treated with respect and reverence...and kissing the hand of these elders was an exercise in showing that respect and reverence, not, as they do today, an act of homage and submission in the hope that some dedak will be thrown your way!
Not about why I call most Chinese "towkay" (with a small t)....not because he is a rich man with two or three Merc in the garage...but because I have no idea what his name is. And he will call us encik (with a small e) not out of respect for Malays but because that is how we Malays were addressed by these towkays. Today it is no longer politically correct to call a Chinese a towkay lest we give him too much face. We Malays, so says Umno, are the Towkays! Ptui!
What I write about is corruption, arrogance and the plundering and pillaging of our once great nation by the very people who have been entrusted with the responsibility of government. I write about ministers who are not only stupid but, as the Malays say, also "bodoh sombong". About the IGP who thinks there is nothing wrong with his daughter selling Firearms and ammunitions that might one day be the cause of the death of his own officers and men! And about those in public office who, if they were school children, would be ostracized and be asked to stand in the corner with a dunce hat on their heads. But they are not at school...they are in Najib Razak's cabinet....and Najib Razak, by example, has given them license to be as corrupt as he is. Not more corrupt that he is for it would be a hard act to top when you consider the RM2.6billion that found it's way into Najib's private account!
The negativity of it all sometimes overwhelms me because I want to write about things that warms people's hearts. I want to write about the goodness and selflessness of people who have the interest of others at heart instead of themselves. Of leaders who lead by example and would never abuse the trust, the public had entrusted in them. But good tidings and good things are rare these days......and rarer still are leaders who served those who have put them in office.
It is now 12.22 AM early Sunday morning. Since morning I have not had a decent meal because blogging consumes me and makes me forget if I have already had a meal or not. At about 10 tonight I realized that I needed to eat because I have not had anything resembling a lunch or dinner throughout the whole day...and yet I know that eating this late will make my night an uncomfortable and restless one. Checkmate. What do I do? I have been wrestling with those thoughts since 10 PM and it is now way past midnight....but even as I hesitate to eat or not to eat...I still write....and hopefully when I stop writing I will be too tired and sleepy to do anything else but sleep.
But as always I digress. It is a privelege I allow myself every now and then to challenge myself when I start writing without any idea as to what I want to write about....and then as the keyboard starts clicking....somehow it all falls into place....and at the end of it all, it does makes sense. This is one of those times.
Today my blogging took me to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Moscow and Newcastle in Australia. I needed to talk to people at these places....none that I have met before....but all I am able to relate to because of steadyaku47. And I do all this sitting at my small desk, in my room in Fitzroy with just myself for company....and my wife sleeping in the bed next to me!
I am truly blessed that you read what I write. Tqs.