Tina Turner : HELP

Chuck Norris : How tough is he?

Top Chuck Norris Facts

• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
  
  

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• Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
  
  

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• Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
  
  

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• There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
  
  

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• If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
  
  

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• Hospitals were made for sick people, body bags were made because of Chuck Norris.
  
  

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• Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
  
  

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• Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  
  

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• Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  
  

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• Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
  
  

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• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
  
  

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• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  
  

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• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  
  

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• The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
  
  

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  The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
• Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
  
  

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• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  
  

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• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  
  

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• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can single handedly surround his victims.
  
  

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• If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5... he has more money than you
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa, and won.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
  
  

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• What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
  
  

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• A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  
  

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• Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience. Death still won't talk about it.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris once stared at the sun for hours... the sun then blinked.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris once found the fountain of youth but didn't drink because he wasn't thirsty.
  
  

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• Chuck norris can sufficate a pillow with a man.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  
  

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• Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  
  

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