4.57 AM. Wednesday. I have been awake since an hour ago. For me this is the best time of the day. All is quiet. I am still in bed thinking of everything....Malaysia, my life, my wife and what I will do on this day. Cliff Richard is playing in my head " All my Love" ....over and over again...you see music, especially the old familiar tunes that I have grown up with....gives me great joy and much memories of time long past but still lives within me with clarity. I love these moments.
I let my thoughts wander where it wants to go.
I think of my parents - gone physically from my life....not only when I left Malaysia to live in Australia about 30 years ago...but for a few decades now, gone from my life forever. Ya ALLAH I miss them so. I think of my daughter and her family...also gone physically from my life when she went to live in Canada with her family....but not from my life emotionally. She is always in my thoughts. Always. And on mornings like this....more so...and I spend a few moments going through images of her and her family on her FB. And yes ALLAH....I miss her so.... and I tear up (not in sadness but in happiness), thinking of these people because these are all good thoughts of people that matters to me and I am privilege to have them in my life....my father, mother and my daughter and her family. Life is still good. I have my wife of almost five decades. Still together and living life together as well as we can...and I have my son living with me, taking care of my wife, his mother and me and his life....and we are contented together.
To be able to look at my life at 69 and tell you all that I am contented is more than what many others can say of their life. There is not much that I need that I do not have.
But yes, I did have some worries these last few days.
As those of you that read what I write will know....I have not been "working" on my blog as I usually do. It has been almost two weeks since I last wrote anything worthwhile...anything that would make those few minutes you spend on my blog worthwhile. You do not have to tell me these things...I can think and I know what I do not do. I have been lazy. I have been not been as focused as I usually am on what is happening around me...especially what is happening back home in KL. I lost interest in the unending political negativity that our politicians indulge in. I start to live within my own space...my family, Melbourne and Australia....and sometimes I do look to see what else is happening in the World out there. Everything else but what is happening in Malaysia....and I begin to lose track of what is happening in KL....in Malaysia....and this is so easy to do. And when I lose focus I can no longer write much about one of the things that matters to me....the need for change in Malaysia.
This has been one of the worries in my head...until yesterday. I told Robert - a friend from Perth now in KL on business - about this....and this is what he told me :
Rest and you will be ok
Dont force your mind....rest inspiration will come by itself
And this is what I have done these last few days. Rested. And having rested I am good to go. So "Selamat Pagi" Robert and "Selamat Pagi" Malaysia....I think all is well.