KUALA LUMPUR, May 1 ― A public university is selling an anti-hysteria kit comprising everyday ... and formic acid for a whopping RM8,750 that | Malaysia | Malay Mail Online.
steadyaku47 comment:
Has it really come to this? A Malaysian University taking three years to develop an anti-hysteria kit with a RM189,000 grant from the Education Ministry under the Knowledge Transfer Programme?
And there are gullible members of the Malaysia public willing to spend RM8,750 to buy this anti-hysteria kit?
Which idiot from the Ministry of Education though it prudent to allocate RM189,000 of the Rakyat's money for this harebrained scheme? What were they thinking about? That the University will come up with some cutting edge technology that would make exorcism absolute? Was the University trying to dispel the theory that the accepted treatment of hysteria in women was once "more sex" or "pelvic massage" by a midwife if the women was unmarried? If they were, why? Is not more sex what most of us want? Male and female!
Or was it a direct instruction from the Minister himself during one of his "eureka" moments when he was a Malay before he became a Malaysian again?
Or, heavens forbid, did the instructions came from the very top - no lah not from the Prime Minister but from Seri Perdana? Has there not been talk about Rosmah dabbling in Black Magic?
Dear God what has become of my country?
But then the deed is done. In those three years of development, millions of ringgits must have already been spent - not only the Ministry of Education grant - but also the manpower and many hours of work devoted on the project.
But then the deed is done. In those three years of development, millions of ringgits must have already been spent - not only the Ministry of Education grant - but also the manpower and many hours of work devoted on the project.
Now how will the University and the Ministry of Education make this "Anti Hysteria Kit" project a commercial success? Let me list out the ways....
- Directive to all Government Schools to have the proper kit to fight hysteria - thus confirming that the Ministry always have the best interest of the students at heart.
- Directive to all government departments to have the proper kit to fight hysteria to ensure that these departments are ready for any mass hysteria outbreak - so that such outbreak will cause the minimum disruption to work.
I think you get the direction towards where I am going...there should be enough directives directed in all directions to ensure that anybody following these directives coming from the direction of the government, will follow those directives directly without fail.
That is already a few thousands "anti-hysteria kit" sold...all at full price because no discount when selling to the goverment...discount then goes into the pocket of u know who lah!
Of course there must be an anti-hysteria kit in Seri Perdana...and why not one in every government quarters paid for and/or subsidize generously by the government.
And while the government is at it.....why not one in every Istana, every Army vehicle, every Naval craft, every TUDM plane, every MAS plane...hell why not even in every Malaysian Embassy or High Commission anywhere in the world.
And while the government is at it.....why not one in every Istana, every Army vehicle, every Naval craft, every TUDM plane, every MAS plane...hell why not even in every Malaysian Embassy or High Commission anywhere in the world.
Of course all these purchases must be made through the sole agent appointed by the University! Now who the f**k will that sole agent be?
No need to say lah... u know and I know! Nudge nudge wink wink....must have right connection, must be Umno member, must be generous etc etc.
No need to say lah... u know and I know! Nudge nudge wink wink....must have right connection, must be Umno member, must be generous etc etc.
At the end of the day everyone is financially rewarded at the expense of the Rakyat.
Why?
Because nobody in their right mind would go and buy an anti hysteria kit that costs RM$8750 - but if the government buys it and have it installed in our office, our homes etc etc...no problems lah. So they Rakyat is left holding on to the bill lah!
Why?
Because nobody in their right mind would go and buy an anti hysteria kit that costs RM$8750 - but if the government buys it and have it installed in our office, our homes etc etc...no problems lah. So they Rakyat is left holding on to the bill lah!
So the University sells it's anti-hysteria kit and declares it to be a huge commercial success!
The Sole Agent cannot keep up with the demand. There is a long waiting list!
As the government is the purchaser the payment is secured. So if the payment is secured why not ask the buyer (also the government!) to put up a substantial up front deposit when placing their orders - even if they have to wait for years for delivery.
Why will the government do this?
The government will do this to help the Bumiputra Sole Agent with administration costs etc etc...and of course the sole agent can then pay any commission due to any politician up front too!
As the government is the purchaser the payment is secured. So if the payment is secured why not ask the buyer (also the government!) to put up a substantial up front deposit when placing their orders - even if they have to wait for years for delivery.
Why will the government do this?
The government will do this to help the Bumiputra Sole Agent with administration costs etc etc...and of course the sole agent can then pay any commission due to any politician up front too!
Then the Banks can come up with a scheme to assist any gullible members of the public (mostly Malays lah!) stupid enough to want to buy these anti-hysteria kit through an installment scheme payable over a decade or more - on the never never scheme with priority given to those in the rural areas - including Pekan!
Now we have not yet even explore the export potential of this product. Which export market are stupid enough to buy this kit? Here are a few leads the University might find worth following up on....just make sure you first apply for another allocation or grant from the Ministry of Education because these "research" involves trips abroad.
South Africa
Mass hysteria among students reported. In 1999 mass hysteria occurred at a high school in Umtata, Eastern Cape of South Africa with the outbreak displaying several features of mass hysteria with pseudo seizures. For doctors, priests, parents and students, this was an unknown phenomenon. It generated a lot of anxiety.
Tanganyika laughter epidemic
The Tanganyika laughter epidemic of 1962 was an outbreak of mass hysteria occurring in or near the village of Kashasha on the western coast of Lake Victoria. It is possible that, at the start of the incident, a joke was told in a boarding school, and that this joke triggered a small group of students to start laughing. The laughter perpetuated itself, far transcending its original cause. The school from which the epidemic sprang was shut down; the children and parents transmitted it to the surrounding area. Other schools, Kashasha itself, and another village, comprising thousands of people, were all affected to some degree. Six to eighteen months after it started, the phenomenon died off. The following symptoms were reported on an equally massive scale as the reports of the laughter itself: pain, fainting, respiratory problems, rashes, and attacks of crying.
The Monkey Man of Delhi
In May 2001, reports began to circulate in the Indian capital New Delhi of a strange monkey-like creature that was appearing at night and attacking people. Eyewitness accounts were often inconsistent, but tended to describe the creature as about four feet (120 cm) tall, covered in thick black hair, with a metal helmet, metal claws, glowing red eyes and three buttons on its chest. Theories on the nature of the Monkey Man ranged from an avatar of a Hindu god, to an Indian version of Bigfoot, to a cyborg that could be deactivated by throwing water on the motherboard concealed under fur on its chest. Many people reported being scratched, and two (by some reports, three) people even died when they leapt from the tops of buildings or fell down stairwells in a panic caused by what they thought was the attacker. More than 15 people suffered from bruises, bites, and scratches.
Penis Panic
A penis panic is a mass hysteria event or panic in which male members of a population suddenly experience the belief that their genitals are getting smaller or disappearing entirely. Penis panics have occurred around the world, most notably in Africa and Asia. Local beliefs in many instances assert that such physical changes are often fatal. In cases where the fear of the penis being retracted is secondary to other conditions, psychological diagnosis and treatments are under development. It is becoming increasingly clear that these forms of mass hysteria are more common than previously thought. Injuries have occurred when stricken men have resorted to apparatus such as needles, hooks, fishing line, and shoe strings, to prevent the disappearance of their penises. An epidemic struck Singapore in 1967, resulting in thousands of reported cases. Government and medical officials alleviated the outbreak only by a massive campaign to reassure men of the anatomical impossibility of retraction together with a media blackout on the spread of the condition.
But seriously folks...Malaysia is a developed nation (so we are told over and over again by our government!)......let us try to do without too much of "third world" mentality. Tak malu ka?
This news item will be all over the globe by the time you sit down to have your nasi lemak at breakfast this morning.The professors in Harvard and Oxford will be having a hard time keeping a straight face while reading these kind of news from a country that claims that its University is on par with theirs. ....I myself am having a hard time writing this post thinking of what name the University will be putting to their anti-hysteria kit...the "Rosmah Bag" perhaps?
Jokes aside, this is a waste of public money by the Ministry of Education.
As far as the University is concerned...do they not have something better to do?
Try putting together a "Bomoh extermination kit"
And what will you put in that kit?
Just a hammer will do with instructions to use the hammer in a manner that will ensure that the Bomoh will not be able to trouble us all with his mumbo jumbo anymore!
And that same hammer should also be used on all those idiots in the University and the Ministry of Education who though that this anti-Hysteria kit is a good idea in the first place!
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