DIARY

Sunday 6th March 9.38 AM

"The body had been terribly abused by smoking since I was in Form 3. That was some 56 years ago. The lungs had hardened. What remains still functioning is not really enough for me to lead a normal existence. The prognosis states that I am now dependent on the inhaler twice a day for the rest of my life. There are bouts of extreme lethargic and tiredness. I truly would not mind if I slipped away in sleep. I love you all."

That was the news I received yesterday from my favorite cousin and this was my immediate response :

Hi....read your posting about "slipping away"....I do not know how you feel because I have never been there...not yet. I have said before Zaina still needs me...you have to think about those around you...do they still need you. I love you too.

Yes I have never been "there" when you no longer "mind if I slipped away in my sleep" ....and my present state of mind is between "glad that he is prepared for what will come" and "I will miss him for sure"....and it still is in that mode. At 67 I know that all things must pass and life goes on....if he read this I want him to know that of all the things that I remember of the times we had together....I can say this....it was all good. 

I remember that Hari Raya a long long time ago when I was alone in KL because my family were back in Adelaide...what did I do? Got in my car and drove all the way to Kuala Pilah to spend Hari Raya morning there with your family.

I remember too during my last year in Bangsar when my family was already back in Adelaide and I was alone in Bangsar Permai - again we spent many moments over lunch and dinner talking about the world out there and the world we lived in...just shooting the breeze in places where we could both have a meal for less that the price of a Coffee at Starbucks....and who had the money, paid. 

Over the years, at least for me, the time we spent together always lifted me up when I am down and made me felt better when things are already good...I cannot ask for more. 

For both us, life has been good and is good. Take care Mat....