steadyaku47

Thursday, 10 March 2016

DIARY

10th March Thursday

12.32 AM. Early...very early Thursday morning. Not a good day yesterday. My brain scan yesterday morning was only done at around noon....and I was physically spent by the time I got home....just in time to help my son finish getting my wife ready for the day. A quick lunch and I took to bed to rest awhile.

At 67 years of age how you start your day makes the rest of your day....and so today was f@*ked from early morning.

Its way past midnight and my wife is wide awake in her bed looking at me. I know it is going to be one of those nights when she will not sleep, and when she will not sleep neither will I. And as long as she is awake she will not take her eyes off me! So every few moments I look her way and smile, wave my hand, or nod my head to show her that I love her and that I know that she is looking at me....and it will only stop when she is asleep....or I stop working on steadyaku47 and lie beside her until we both fall asleep. 

At this time of the morning all is quiet on the streets below. Being so close to the city and the Hospital we are used to the sounds of sirens from police cars and ambulances. Then there are the sounds of the Trams on the streets too  - every few minutes one will pass by....but no buses....but for the past one hour or so...nothing. All quiet on the western front.

I like these moments because I can think with clarity. 

There are a few decisions I have to make in pursuing a "story" on Altantuya....I just hope I make the right ones. There is a stirring in my heart to be with my daughter whom I have not seen for close to five years. I miss her desperately.....but I am resigned to the reality that I will most probably not see her again in my lifetime. 

These are the things that plays in my mind in moments of solitude. I let my mind and heart wander where they will and I allow my emotions to feel what it wants ...,,it is good for your soul to be sad once in a while....sad for the right things...and being sad because you miss your daughter is a good thing....but enough of this!

Enough of these things that tugs at the strings of my heart. I will now stop and lie down for a few minutes with my wife...and then hopefully recharged, start writing again. 

This time about things that matters to you and me. About the state of our nation (not good) and anything else that comes to mind.