steadyaku47

Showing posts with label Joke lagi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke lagi. Show all posts

Friday, 23 December 2011

Joke Lama!

Before we get ourselves too involved in matters that are really not that important in the scheme of things to come, allow me to share this sms that we all must have read send by God knows who at just about the time that Pakatan Rakyat was trying to find their way into Selangor in the aftermath of the 12th general election! No prizes for guessing who they are looking for! Enjoy! 


"Sesiapa ada terjumpa seorang rakyat Selangor, rambut putih, belagak handsom, bangsa jawa, rendah2, sila hubungi Balai Polis berhampiran. Kunci pejabat MB ada kat dia"


Friday, 16 December 2011

Joke Lagi.....


Two politicans were having a heated debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?" 
And the other politician screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"

A little girl asked her father, 'do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected.'

Don't vote - it only encourages them.

It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!
Limit BN Members of Parliaments to 2 terms: 1 in office, 1 in jail.
Why is it that political leaders don't seem to have all the answers until they write their memoirs?

During Britain's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.

Wife: To think that I had to marry you to find out just how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have realised that when I asked you to marry me.

Justice - a decision in your favor.

If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in just one lifetime.

I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?

He is as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.


How can you drop and egg six feet without it breaking?
 By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

Q: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers?

A: No.

Reply: Good!

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.

"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Joke lagi.....

KJ, Anwar, Najib, Petra, Mahathir, Kavita Kaur (sorry guys this is about the only time I will get my name in the same sentence as Kavita and Mahathir so must take this chance lah!)  and ahem….me.


Yes all of us did get it wrong once in a while…and ahem..the others more then me! And what KJ twittered about Guan Eng’s son is one of his bad hair days.





And really KJ the best thing to do when you have one of those days is to front up and apologize.  I provide herewith some apologies that may or may not be of use should you  decide to apologize:

"I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do." 
April Winchell

"If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize." 
Muhammad Ali

"I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a deserter. What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants." Michael Moore

And if it is of any help…watch this apologies  from the PAP…yes lah that Singapore PAP!

Have a nice weekend! Enjoy!

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Joke lagi!

with thanks to KB.











NAJIB walks into Malayan Banking to cash a cheque.

As he approaches the cashier he says "Good morning , could you please cash this cheque for me"?
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?


Najib: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to.I am Najib, Prime Minister of Malaysia !!!!"


Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers, etc .... I must insist on seeing ID"


Najib: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am"


Cashier: "I am sorry Sir, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."


Najib: "I am urging you please to cash this cheque. "


Cashier: "Look Sir, this is what we can do: 
One day Siti Nurhaliza came into the bank without ID. To prove she was Siti Nurhaliza she sang a Celine Dion song and we knew who she was and  cashed her cheque.


Another time, Lee Chong Wei came in without ID. He pulled out his badminton racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the shuttle cork landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque.


So, Mr. Prime minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Prime minister of Malaysia?"


Najib stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: "Honestly, there is nothing that comes to my mind.I don't have a clue.I can't think of a single thing."


Cashier:Will that be large or small bills, Mr. Prime Minister?