cakap cakap...time for sleep.

12.54 am...winding down for the day. My dear wife is in and out of sleep. Coughs a lot and every cough makes me look her way to see if all is well with her. She has lost a lot of weight. Her sleep is sometimes interrupted by those coughs but all else is good. I am trying hard to make her smile ...even laugh but she has not done so for almost two years now....maybe three. Sometimes she looks my way and there is a flicker of recognition...sometimes none. I do ask myself if she knows me...remembers me...or even recognise me....but I am not sure...but as I said a few weeks back, she has learned to complain. And she does that often and sometimes unnecessarily because I am there beside her giving her a drink and I am a bit slow to give her another sip...and she lets me know that I am a bit slow. And so life goes on for her and for me in our unit at Fitzroy.

I had lunch with a comrade at our favourite place - Blue Chilis in Brunswick Street today. Two Char Kueh Teow, no chilli. 

I wish I had the "oomph" that this comrade of mine had when it comes to matters back in K Hell. That addendum to the Pakatan Harapan Manifesto that I posted earlier this evening on my blog and FB...all his idea! That "Amaran Terakhir" to all the government and statutory bodies etc etc....also his idea. On top of that he has been working on another issue now troubling us all, between Australia and Malaysia...and that I will write about  very early next week. Need signatures for that....and I expect you guys to help us get the signatures!

I told him about that white lady in London and me...and he tells me he has read about it...even that feature on me in SR and, like most of you, he was not happy. And without so much as an "excuse me" he starts to tell me exactly why I need to focus on the bigger picture! Getting rid of the Idiot and BN. This comrade of mine is passionate about the country he was born in and passionate about the people that lives there -even if he now calls Melbourne home. By the end of the Char Kueh Teow, this comrade in arms of mine told me that he had already prepare an apology that I should give to you guys for deserting my post during battle! And right now, he tells me, we are in a battle with the Idiot and BN.

That was what I needed- a pep talk - to give me that courage to first apologize to you guys for straying and then to get back on track with OUR work of putting PH into government! Thanks bro.

It is way past 1am now....closer to 2 then to 1...and so I need to lay me down to sleep. It will be a restful night for I am at peace with myself. To all you guys that continues to read what I write - thank you. For those of you who hantam me for what ever reason...for a slight...only a slight slip of judgement...saya terima.

 It is getting harder to keep my head straight and focus on my MAC. Time for sleep. 

Selamat Malam.

cakap cakap..

6.57 am. Selamat Pagi. Have spent the last hour going through the comments you guys made on the things I posted yesterday. I hear what you are saying. I know how you guys feel. 

Yes...now is the winter of our discontent. But as sure as the Sun will rise tomorrow, after Winter comes Spring and then Summer. We will have time to awaken from this Winter of discontent and better prepare ourselves for the Winter that will surely come again...but the next Winter will see us better prepared and able to stand the rigours and cold that comes with it.....and we will no longer be discontent with any more Winter to come. So remember ....this Winter of Discontent will soon come to an end. Let us vote for change. 

The final days of the Roman Empire saw torment and strife sweeping across that nation of butchers, robbers and plunderers. Morale was low and it's people knew that the Empire was doomed. Emperor Konstantinos XI Dragases-Palaiologos could only gather three thousand Roman Soldiers for the final defence of that Empire.....but, when the end came, the militaristic nation did went down fighting. 

What will now happen to the umno led Barisan Nasional as it's own final days swiftly nears? 

Surely those within BN know that they are doomed! 

This week started with the seizure of Equanimity. There can be no greater symbol of the excesses of a corrupt prime minister and his pliant political cohorts then this Yacht valued at RM1 billion. A yacht bought from the proceeds of diseased 1MDB that was under the Chairmanship of the prime minister himself. And that same dedak infested government, in the same week, announced what we already know will surely happen - the closure of 1MDB "after it's debts have been settled". Debts that will be painfully paid by the next few generations of Malaysians to come. 

And to add some pathetic comic relief to the deserved woes of this corrupt BN government...the head of the Criminal Investigation Department (a post, alas, my late father once held under Tun Haniff many many years ago when the Police were indeed the guardian of our security and safety!) ...the head of this PDRM's department, will not seek to wrest back from the Australian Government almost RM1 million seized from his personal bank account in Sydney suspected to be the proceeds of money laundering and/or crime. 

What, you may ask, could be more comical then the PDRM's CID Director NOT seeking to clear his name when the Australian government has accused him of Money Laundering?

MALAYSIAN POLICE CLEARED HIM IN AN INTERNAL INQUIRY AFTER BEING ALERTED BT THE AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL POLICE !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

steadyaku47 note...I am now rolling around on the floor with laughter at this comic relief that I must take some time to recover from this bout of uncontrollable laughter before I write anything more on this...so enough for now!

cakap cakap...

8.43 am. Thursday early morning...Melbourne. Another day dawns. I am tired, sleepy and mentally exhausted and have been so for the past few days. Summer in Melbourne plays havoc with my sensibilities. I am in my sarong, T Shirt and bare feet ready to enjoy "Malaysian" weather as I greet the morning...and yet the weather does not do as promised. The sun does not shine, there is a cold gusty wind blowing and I am cold. The cold takes a lot of energy and oomph from me. My thoughts gets constricted and is unable to unravel the many things that is in my head...and so writing becomes a chore. And when that happens...it is better that I chill a little.....

On the bright side.....my wife now knows how to complain! 

And what is so good about my wife knowing how to complain...you may ask? 

As those of you who read I write may know....my wife has frontal lobe advanced dementia and has not spoken for almost three years now....not a sound passes through her lips on any day. 

About a week ago she started to discretely cough of and on during meal times. These coughs, at times, were louder then at other times...and then soon...I put two and two together. When she is ready for her next mouthful of food and I am a bit slow in responding...she coughs. And the decibels of the coughs rises and falls according to my response. If I am slow in responding or ignore those coughs (as I am prone to do at times when I am watching TV or having a meal at the same time as I am giving her hers....) her cough rises in decibels. 

She has now got that complaining cough to an art form. When she coughs I know what I have to do. Somtimes I am not too kind and I wait until she coughs before I giver her the next spoonful of food or the drink she wants because I want to hear her make a sound...any sound...I miss her voice so much. So as I said....my wife now knows how to complain....and I am okay with it. 

Everything else is good. 

My wife and me a few years back .....many years back!

cakap cakap....

As most of you who blogs will knows...they start counting the clicks to our posts at 10 am every morning. When I hit over a 1000 clicks before the first hour is over, I know I will hit 20K to 30K before the 24 hour circle is over by tomorrow at 10 am. 

It is now 10.46 am and I already have 1,502 clicks. 

Thank you guys for reading what I write. Yes I know sometimes I post nonsensical stuff, and there are times I ask myself why I post the stuff I do....but let me tell you this...what you see on these pages is me! My thoughts, my sense of right and wrong, my taste in music, my humour and most important of all (to me)...steadyaku47 is how I share what is in my head with anybody who stops by this site to visit.

It is 10.50 am now and time to get the Mrs organised for the day. We have a carer coming in at noon today to spend time with my wife for about an hour. She is Greek and she talks to my wife (who is Greek) in Greek and keeps my wife mentally and physically occupied for that hour while I and my son chill. They call it "respite/relief time" for us carers....time away from those that we care for so that we can go back to taking care of them with vigour and love once that hour of respite is over. 

Life is good. 

cakap cakap....

If any of you think that I am going to be writing anything serious these next few days...no way Jose.... I am not in the mood for it....tomorrow the weekend starts and I am already in the mood to start it today....so only cut and paste from now until the week end is over....unless I feel like hantaming that bugis warrior and that fat lady of Malaysia...and yes, from now on, no more capital letters for najib or rosmah.....they do not deserve it! 

And we start with Bol Radha Bol...

cakap cakap : Sunday night!

I do not mind telling you guys that there are times when I question what is it that I am doing...day in and day out...writing...writing ...and writing about my beloved Malaysia. 

Not about the Malaysia that I grew up in when Malays treat other Malays with respect and grace. Then, our elders, no matter what  their standing in the community, were invariably treated with respect and reverence...and kissing the hand of these elders was an exercise in showing that respect and reverence, not, as they do today, an act of homage and submission in the hope that some dedak will be thrown your way!

Not about why I call most Chinese "towkay" (with a small t)....not because he is a rich man with two or three Merc in the garage...but because I have no idea what his name is. And he will call us encik (with a small e) not out of respect for Malays but because that is how we Malays were addressed by these towkays. Today it is no longer politically correct to call a Chinese a towkay lest we give him too much face. We Malays, so says Umno, are the Towkays! Ptui! 

What I write about is corruption, arrogance and the plundering and pillaging of our once great nation by the very people who have been entrusted with the responsibility of government. I write about ministers who are not only stupid but, as the Malays say, also "bodoh sombong". About the IGP who thinks there is nothing wrong with his daughter selling Firearms and ammunitions that might one day be the cause of the death of his own officers and men! And about those in public office who, if they were school children, would be ostracized and be asked to stand in the corner with a dunce hat on their heads. But they are not at school...they are in Najib Razak's cabinet....and Najib Razak, by example, has given them license to be as corrupt as he is. Not more corrupt that he is for it would be a hard act to top when you consider the RM2.6billion that found it's way into Najib's private account!

The negativity of it all sometimes overwhelms me because I want to write about things that warms people's hearts. I want to write about the goodness and selflessness of people who have the interest of others at heart instead of themselves. Of leaders who lead by example and would never abuse the trust, the public had entrusted in them. But good tidings and good things are rare these days......and rarer still are leaders who served those who have put them in office. 

It is now 12.22 AM early Sunday morning. Since morning I have not had a decent meal because blogging consumes me and makes me forget if I have already had a meal or not. At about 10 tonight I realized that I needed to eat because I have not had anything resembling a lunch or dinner throughout the whole day...and yet I know that eating this late will make my night an uncomfortable and restless one. Checkmate. What do I do? I have been wrestling with those thoughts since 10 PM and it is now way past midnight....but even as I hesitate to eat or not to eat...I still write....and hopefully when I stop writing I will be too tired and sleepy to do anything else but sleep.

 But as always I digress. It is a privelege I allow myself every now and then to challenge myself when I start writing without any idea as to what I want to write about....and then as the keyboard starts clicking....somehow it all falls into place....and at the end of it all, it does makes sense. This is one of those times.

Today my blogging took me to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Moscow and Newcastle in Australia. I needed to talk to people at these places....none that I have met before....but all I am able to relate to because of steadyaku47. And I do all this sitting at my small desk, in my room in Fitzroy with just myself for company....and my wife sleeping in the bed next to me!

I am truly blessed that you read what I write. Tqs.