Thursday 12 March 2009

Death and Fear...

All beings tremble before danger, all fear death.
- Dhammapada 54

Taken literally to me that is profound. To acknowledge that we do tremble before danger and we all fear death is so refreshingly obvious and yet pride and stupidity will not allow us to acknowledge that reality. Me? I tremble before too many dangers that I cannot begin to start. There was a time when Death was something I simple could not deal with. Not only the going away of loved ones but also the transformation of someone from a living being to one of being cold, still and to be disposed of six feet underground. And that continued for a while until increasingly those who died became those very people that I loved. Then sadness overcomes all other consideration. Now I am comfortable with being close to death. What makes me sad is to see those close to death. They know that death is near and I can see that in their eyes. There is nothing you can do but to stay close to them and be there for them at the moment of passing. I think that their last conscious thoughts would be of those that they love and if those that they love are with them – it will comfort them. 

I lost my parents a long time ago. The sadness of not having them both in my life has not passed. I do not think of them constantly – sometimes weeks pass before I even think of them – but when I do the sadness envelopes me completely and I let it cover me and surround me because it feels good. It feels good to know that even after all these time my love for them is undiminished, strong and yearnings for days long gone by are forever etched in my mind. No regrets. No “what if’. None. Just “ I love you both and miss you both”…and then having done my grieving, go back to my present life. Back to my wife, my son, my daughter and her family – all still with me. Not close by but still with me and then I am once again content with my lot. Amen.


  1. I loved this!

    I'm also going through this strange stage. Check my blog and you will see!

  2. The Torajas view death with great welcome and a step up or return to eternal life. They don't fear death. I think the fear of death and the feeling of sadness is felt bcoz it is expected of you. It is more a social expectation and therefore you adopt or assume a feeling of fear and sadness to conform to the group or expectation. With the torajas you would look weird and odd if you look scared of death or sad when a close when dies. I think I'm a torajan at heart. I and Patricia discussed this at one of my postings over at zveloyak about three months ago.

  3. And here's Patricia! Hahahah. Yes, I remember discussing this with Zar. But I must go back and read it, to remember what I said!

    I don't think I fear death. At least, not my death. Sometimes I worry about what will be the 'after' of it all; at other times I'm game for the next adventure, if any.

    When I think of death - and it's not often - I think of the ones I love dearly dying. And I am wretched. I cannot imagine life without them. Why would I even want to wake up to face another day?

    But I know I will. And when I think of my children and my Chuan having to deal with my death, then, I am sad. Because I know they love me, and that I will be missed. And just knowing that is both good and bad, no?

    I like to think of death as my reason for living. To love whom I want, and do what I want, and be what I want. And make those I love happy, as they make me happy.

    Tomorrow I could die. I know I would have no regrets should it happen. I think I have had a good life, filled with love and contentment, and almost everything I could desire.

    This was a good post, Hussein. It made me think and helped me 'see' a reason for me to simply live and be happy.

    Be happy, too, ya?