There are many things on our mind today. The coming general elections, the difficulty of making ends meet when the cost of living keeps rising and our income keeps diminishing. As we grow older we more and more think about what life has in store for us as we see our grandchildren grow up and our own children becoming more and more like us….ahhh life is a bitch but live it we must if we are to keep our sanity on an even keel!
Some of us choose to ignore the coming of old age with a vigor that defies rationality – preferring to defy our already physical and mental overload with yet more demands. To those that do so we sometimes ask “Why?” but we do harbor a grudging respect for their ability to push themselves to limits we would consider just a tad too much.
All around us the world revolves and carry on with or without our participation…and when it is time for us to leave, the world neither stops nor tarry to wish us adieu, goodbye or selamat jalan. And then you die!
That is a truth I learnt many years ago. Many years ago when I decided to live my own life in my own way in my own time and in my own way. Many years ago in London when I decided that I could not live without my then girlfriend and now wife and mother of my two children and two grandchildren.
Many years ago when I decided to hell with my studies at Ealing Tech, to hell with doing what people expected of me and to hell with a conventional life. And today at sixty-five years old I can truly reflect on what I have done to my life and in my life.
First I give thanks to my parents. They never imposed upon me any religious demands though they themselves were devout Muslims. What they have shown me was that living life with those you love is the most precious of our blessings. If there was anything that I remembered vividly of my life with my parents – Hamid Latiff and Zaharah Ambak – it is this. They enjoyed, seek and basked in each other company more than with any others. Father was never more at ease than sitting in his sarong and singlet while engaging mother in conversation on matters that interest them….and I wondered why until I myself reached their age and did the same with my wife! It is good to be in the company of someone that asks no more of you than to sit and keep him or her company. This is true of those you love and good friends you cherish. Silence in their company is shared bliss.
I give thanks to my wife….and I write freely here because I know she never ever reads what I write in my blog! When we married at Acton, Ealing she bought my trousers and shirt and paid for the wedding ring! Today at sixty-eight she is asleep in our bed nearby while I do my work nearby in the same room. At sixty-eight she is a little worn by the wear and tear of life…and so for that matter am I. I have just told her that she will have to roast a chicken for lunch because she is the best ‘raoster’ in the house….and she wearily smiles and tells me she will. In her present condition (she has dementia) that would mean that I and my son will have to be on standby to do her bidding as she ‘roasts’ the chicken. And so we adjusts to life the best way we can.
I am grateful for my writing and to those of you that read what I write. It gives me the ‘ooomph’ in life that comes out of doing something you like doing and having people be part of what you have done. I have neglected ‘steadyaku47’ for a while – a long while actually because I needed to adjust to the realities of living with my beloved wife who has dementia – but I do so willingly as I know that once I am adjusted I will want to continue writing. For now I write when I can.
My two children are my source of constant joy because I know no matter what they do, no matter what I do, we are family and nothing else matters….though I wish my number one daughter somewhere in Canada would write me more often…though I do know that having two children under six does get trying at times! Here is her latest “kelohan” or complain about them!
Izzy: "Mummy, where is my snow white doll?"
Me: "In the pink box."
Izzy: "What pink box?"
Me: "The pink box in your play area - the only pink box there. (I point straight at it.) This one."
Izzy: "That's not pink. It's white with pink stripes."
This is what I'm dealing with people.
Sofie: "My socks dirty, mummy."
Sofie (throwing them in my direction): "Wash them." (walks back to watch her cartoons.)
And the little dark lord has finally risen.
And that my friends are some of the comings and going on in my life. Not too eventful but still interesting for a sixty five year of guy here in Oz. Salam!