Monday 12 November 2012

All things considered you Sultans are on a good wicket for now. If you want to keep doing so for a little while longer…then behave yourself and do not try to push your weight around and bully the Rakyat. There are over 20 million of us…only nine of you! Kapish?

I am unable to think of one good reason why we should have a Sultan – any Sultan! Plenty of bad reasons but no good ones!

For a glorious few months I thought this Sultan of Johor was different. He did insist that if he wants to spend a few hundred thousands ringgit on a number plate it was his business…after all it was his money. Fair enough. Then there was that Mindef skirmish on the overpriced armored vehicle that - this Sultan pointed out to all and sundry  - was overpriced. Another feather in his cap  - I thought! And then, unfortunately, like all good things that must come to an end…this Sultan did what any other Sultan have done….he got upset because Ahmad Jalil insulted him!

Alamak if I get upset every time I get insulted I would have been upset twice already this morning! First when I caught my cat, Lea, sitting in MY chair! My wife and son never ever sit in MY chair…so imagine how upset I was when I caught Lea sitting in MY chair!

And then I got on to a crowded Tram to go into town and this young lady got up to offer me a seat! What does she think I am…an old man unable to stand those few minutes that will take the tram to get to Flinders Street just five minutes away? And not only was I insulted by the offer of that seat, I had to sit down and said thank to her lest they all think that I am an ungrateful old man! So really I have been insulted three times before lunch!    

Moral of the story? Come on lah Tuanku…be a bit more thick skin! Do not be too full of yourself and your self-importance! Jalil and all of us are burdened with the costs of keeping you and your brother Rulers in clover so when one of us do upset you by asking you to behave yourself in a manner befitting of a Sultan – you better listen and do as you are told…..nanti Rakyat megamok susah pulak!

You guys already know what happened when UMNO megamok during Mahathir’s time. By the time UMNO finished with you guys you lost your daulat and lots of privileges and legal immunity- among other things. Now UMNO is put into government by the Rakyat – so the Rakyat is Boss. Now if the Boss megamok how? Not only will we tahan your gaji but we have enough horror stories to tell about the goings of the Sultans themselves and their kerabat….aiyah stories of drunk, gambling and fornicating Sultans posted onto the public domain is not kosher for you – but certainly entertaining for the Rakyat!

Top of the list are the biological pursuits these Sultans seems to pursue with vigor and a passion quiet like the Bonobo Chimpanzees.

The bonobo is popularly known for its high levels of sexual behavior. Sex functions in conflict appeasement, affection, social status, excitement, and stress reduction. It occurs in virtually all partner combinations and in a variety of positions. This is a factor in the lower levels of aggression seen in the bonobo when compared to the common chimpanzee and other apes.

But the Bonobo chimps have a lower level of aggression because they have so much sex so I guess these Sultans are still not getting enough because there are still aggressive when provoked! Except for the odd occasion when UMNO provokes him the Selangor Sultan does seems to be quiet for most of the time…wonder why? 
With the general election approaching some of these Sultans are beginning to stir as UMNO reaches out to them to do the “I scratch your back and you scratch my back” mambo – a bit different from the horizontal mambo that both are quiet proficient in! One of them has already got his durian runtuh when called upon to assist UMNO in their take over of Perak! Now this Selangor Sultan is beginning to have delusion of grandeur of being the ‘factor’ that will swing Selangor towards UMNO!  Dream on Tuanku….and I suggest you send Miss K to London until after the 13th general election is over –just in case we decide that your private life is fair game if you try to kachau the status quo in Selangor.

Let me make these Sultans understand this! The Internet is no friend of any Sultan who takes it upon themselves to champion the cause of any UMNO or BN politician in the 13th general election. If you are not prepared to do the time…do not do the crime of involving yourselves in politics. Leave politics to those who are prepared to suffer the indignities of having their private lives dissected and debated by the Rakyat.

Keep whatever shred of dignity that you might still have – or think you still have. I am under no illusion that it is not if these Sultans are to be abolished but when they will be abolished. If they have any common sense at all they too would see the writings on the wall…if they do not, then it only goes to show what they lack in intellect and common sense to think that they could continue with this free ride on a gravy train to nowhere at our expense! That and the ability to not comprehend that in the times that we live in each and everyone have to pull our own weight if we are to earn our keep. Do nothing and you should get nothing.

All things considered you Sultans are on a good wicket for now. If you want to keep doing so for a little while longer…then behave yourself and do not try to push your weight around and bully the Rakyat. There are over 20 million of us…only nine of you! Kapish?     


  1. Sir,

    If this piece is written inside Malaysia, at least 15 policemen would be knocking on your door.

    The truth hurts and you wrote it.

  2. Sir,

    Truth hurts and you have spoken the absolute truth!!!!! Let's pray that the rakyat will have the power one day to put these animals in their rightful enclosures