We are all the sum of our values - ethnicity, language, culture and our history. What we know of these values we learn from our upbringing and all the knowledge and learning we acquire through formal education and informally through various phases of our lives. What you are taught and how you are taught will determine how you will see your place within Malaysian or wherever you choose to reside, how you will forge your identity and where your loyalty lies.
Now having said all that, what happens if you have a mind of your own? That in spite being born a Muslim, Christian, Hindu or Buddhist you chose to be something else? That despite growing up and living in one country you choose to live in another? And notwithstanding all that you have known and experienced in life you choose to turn your back on everything that you have known to live life as you want?
Does that not throw to the winds all the sum of the values that you have known in your life? Why would you want to do such a thing? You must either be someone who is supremely confident of what you want for yourself or you are a complete moron who knows not what trials and tribulations awaits someone who chooses to tread the road less traveled.
The truth lies somewhere in between. Between confidence and moronic. Between the end of a life elsewhere and the beginning of another somewhere else.
I am one of those who choose to do this very thing many times. If I think back to the circumstances and reasons for each coming and going it all becomes a blur. The only constant is my Family. Without them I am nothing. With them whatever I do, where ever I am and however dire the circumstances I know I cannot fail. I have rid myself of everything that others hold sacred and dear to themselves and yet today I want for nothing that I do not have.
And still I do not know the meaning of life. Still I do not know how we have evolved to be what we are. Still I do not know what the future holds. These things I do not need nor want to know. They have no bearing on my life now and in what time I have left to live.
Maybe I am too shallow to understand what is beyond the physical circumstances that surrounds me. I think it would take deep and considerable thoughts for anyone to delve into and understand the spiritual and mystical circumstances of our existence. I do not have the patience or the inclination to go there. Suffice for me that I exist….and having exist I go on with my life. And then I die. That is all there is in life. In between birth and death you live life as you think fit.