steadyaku47: Chuck Norris : How tough is he?

Top Chuck Norris Facts

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

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Your rating: NoneAverage: 4.7 (484 votes)
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

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Your rating: NoneAverage: 4.7 (427 votes)
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

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If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

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Your rating: NoneAverage: 4.7 (9922 votes)
Hospitals were made for sick people, body bags were made because of Chuck Norris.

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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

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Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

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Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

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Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.

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The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.

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Chuck Norris can single handedly surround his victims.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5... he has more money than you

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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa, and won.

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

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A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience. Death still won't talk about it.

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Chuck Norris once stared at the sun for hours... the sun then blinked.

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Chuck Norris once found the fountain of youth but didn't drink because he wasn't thirsty.

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Chuck norris can sufficate a pillow with a man.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

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2 comments:

AnonymousSaturday 31 August 2013 at 09:13:00 GMT+10
Chuck Norris has many dimwits, he himself is no less than one of them. I am not one of them, but others who think the comments are funny are from BN. Commentators, please get a life
AnonymousTuesday 3 September 2013 at 18:22:00 GMT+10
LOL! Alamak... what did Chuck Norris NOT do to deserve all those dimwit jokes

steadyaku47

Saturday 31 August 2013

Chuck Norris : How tough is he?

Top Chuck Norris Facts

2 comments: