I have been confused, anxious and sometimes angry these last two weeks. At times I wanted to lash out at someone for perceived wrongs and at times I felt betrayed and disrespected by those from whom I felt owed me more. It was only at about 3 A.M this morning when I awoke from a troubled sleep that I realize what I had and should do…but I am ahead of myself here…let me go back just over two years ago.
It was about two years ago that I started to write for Free Malaysia Today under the name of CT Ali. My first posting was “Anwar must go for rakyat to win” in November 2011 and I became CT Ali to many.
“CT Ali is a reformist who believes in Pakatan Rakyat’s ideologies. He is a FMT columnist.”
I have enjoyed myself tremendously in all the time that I have been writing for FMT because I was never told what I should write and, always, I was reminded to be objective and fair in what I write…and I have tried to do just that.
Recently, as you all know, FMT has been going through some trying times. I was upset because I was told to stop writing in early April. Upset because I thought after two years with FMT I deserved to be given more notice. And angry these last week because I have still to be paid for my work in March. And I went to sleep upset….until early this morning.
I asked myself why should I be angry and upset over what has happened?
Have I not had two over years of doing something I enjoyed and getting paid for it?
Had I not learnt to discipline myself to write on a regular basis and to a targeted audience – something that I had never been able to do before FMT?
And did I not have what I write read by so many!
Should I not be grateful to FMT rather than be upset or angry with them? Of course I should be grateful! And I am! Thank you FMT.
It is now 5.59 A.M and I am at peace with myself and with FMT. Thank you FMT for those two years and I sincerely hope that all will be well again in these coming weeks so that once again FMT can do what it has been doing all these years – tell the news as it should be...and if CT Ali can write again for FMT...let me know....if not...I wish you all the best!
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