I never knew too much about my father. I would have liked to have been able to sit down with him and talk about his courtship of my mother who was his first cousin. I would have liked to ask him about his first car, his time in Langkawi and Pendang – places I know he served but I was too young to remember. I would want to talk to him about his time in London and see how it compared to my time in London…and I would have loved to be able to ask him about his time serving in the Police under Fenner, Tan Sri Hussein, Tun Salleh, Tan Sri Rahman and Tun Haniff. But I left for MCKK very early in my life and after MCKK I have never been able to get back the Father that I left when I left for MCKK.
I wish I had access to his papers and the personal files and documents that he left behind because he spent a lot of time on his computer after my mother passed away but all that are in the hands of my brothers and I know that I will never see them.
I know that my descendants will know much more about me that what I know of my father through this blog! Even fifty years from now all that my great great grandchildren have to do is click steadyaku47 and they can read to their hearts contents about me, my wife, my family, my thoughts and everything else there is to know about me – all here on my blog!
But I also hope that they do not try to make too much of what I write. I hope they will not say that Tok or Atuk must have been so anti government and that is why he lived in Australia. The reason I live in Australia is because I want to. I write about everything. You can find articles that I write in praise of Mahathir, Najib, Anwar and even Kit Siang. You can also find article I write that are critical of them. I write in praise of Abang Lah and against Abang Lah…and if my grand daughter Isabel wants to understand why, she can always asks her mother!
|Isabel with Abang Lah
What I hope is that what I write does make them think about life, about people and about what our country Malaysia, has been through these last few decades. You see my grand daughters are now living in Canada and I expect them to have little or no memory of what Malaysia was like for I know they will grow up to be Canadians.
This is happening a lot in Malaysia today. Families are migrating. Families are being torn apart as the younger generation leave their parents to seek a better life elsewhere. Some are even prepared to allow their children to settle overseas after their studies while they still continue to live in Malaysia because they are too old or too set in their ways to leave. I know the heartaches of having loved ones living in another country away from you. I know that they will come a time when you are too old to visit them even if you can afford to do so and then you have to come to terms with not seeing them any more.
I have met too many Malaysian who are in the same situation as me and the most we can do is to hope that all will be well with them. But time heals everything and when enough time has passed you will be missed no more. That is why I am grateful to have started this blog almost four years ago and I will keep writing for as long as I can tap the keyboard of my PC. Just thinking about what my great great grandchildren (who has not been born yet!) will think about when they read what I write makes me smile….and I write this at 11.08 PM on a Tuesday 12th November in 2013. Amen.