Saturday 2 November 2013

cakap and life.

I have lived my life totally out of synch with what has been expected of me as the eldest in a family of four and after I married, as a husband and father to my two children Zack and Terrina. I have lived wherever I liked - London, Malaysia and Australia -  do anything I liked with only the welfare of my own family to consider. Never ever saved any money for my old age, no house and nothing that belongs to me that I would need anything bigger that half a container load to move to anywhere I am going.    

It has taken me only until recently to make my peace with my late father – Hamid Latiff -  we are two strong willed individuals with not enough sense between us to understand that we will one day say goodbye to each other. He died without me knowing - so we did not say goodbye to each other. While I have made my peace with him I do not know if he had made his peace with me.

I was with my late mother - Zaharah Ambak -  to her very early end. I do not seek forgiveness from her because there was no need for me to do so. I have yet to meet with another human being who has no malice towards others and a forgiving disposition that gladdens my heart because it was sincere and given unconditionally.    

My wife is a saint and I write this with no intent of getting into her good books for she never ever reads what I write! I kid you not! If I had any regrets in our life together it was about a year and a half ago when we were still in Adelaide. She had, in my mind, grown lazy and preoccupied in her own self and cease to do any housework around the house. I was not amused with this change in her though I could sense a change in her that was totally out of character.  It never occurred to me that she might be unwell. When we moved to Melbourne the journey took a toll on her. We had rented a truck and loaded our stuff onto the truck and drove to Melbourne – the three of us, my wife, son and me sitting in the front cab with our cat, Lea. During the trip my wife was confused as to where we were going and what we were doing. Once in Melbourne she was diagnosed with dementia and everything fell into place. Since then it has been a period of adjustments for me and my son – a trying period at times – but one we are comfortable and willing to do because my wife, his mother is now in our care. It will be good for her and for us because we have each other and quality of life, in spite of the dementia, is good.

Our living room 
I have said before that I have lived my life selfishly for myself without much regard for anything else but for my own family and yet today I could never have thought that life as we know it now could have been possible – even if I had scrimped, saved and led a life of work and save religiously so that I will be okay in my old age.

At sixty six I have the wife I married in London when I was twenty one still as my best friend and the person I want to spend my time with living with me and sleeping in the same bed as me. We do not tire of each other’s company and most wonderful of all, we have our son Zack with us. Terrina, my daughter, and her family  are in Canada and we are in touch. This morning she sent me this about our grandchild Sofie going trick or treating on Halloween:

Trick or treating the Sofie way:
Nice lady at the door giving Sofie candy:
Lady: Here you go!
Sofia: Thank you. Can I have one for my sister
Lady: Sure!
Sofia: And one for my mummy
Lady: How sweet!
Sofia: And one for my daddy
Lady: Okay ...
Sofia: And one for my ...
Me: Okay, that's enough, lets go.   

Isabel and Sofie 
So all is well with the troops over there.

It is Saturday today. We are taking a two week break from our  weekend treat of “Roast Lamb” because it does get a bit tedious having it every week for the past few months. We are going for the Oz staple this weekend – PIES –  spring rolls and the butter chicken I have cooked a few days back and stored in air tight containers in the fridge. But no rice – my constitution can no longer stomach the ‘heaviness’ of eating rice.

And we have the weekend to laze around and get through until another week dawns upon us on Monday. Now tell me, who amongst you, live and love like we do? Not the roast lamb or what Melbourne can offer – but the contentment of a life well lived and the closeness of people you love? Come on tell me who? If you do not then why not start today - your wife is still the same person you married many many years ago - maybe a bit frayed round the edges but have you had a good look at yourself too? You also tua one! And your children - if they are close by - why not go and visit them while you still can. Why not?         

Its 6.10 pm now. I must go spend some quality time in the living room with my better half and watch the news - my favorite program ever! Nothing I have to do that I do not want to do and nothing I must do that I do not want to do. Now if that is not contentment tell me what is!

Opps... I just had to go over to help my wife put on her trousers because she cannot do it by herself......and guess what she tells me when done? "Thank you Sweetie!"

Last and not least............laughter the best medicine............these clip makes me laugh every time I even think of it...yes I know you have seem it before but why not again!

and this one of how the Russian handle road rage:

and sorry for the road: enjoy the weekend! I will! 


  1. Anom,

    Tq you friend for the link. I have watched it and do more research on it. My wife have had mixed results on the watch test. At times okay and at times no. I am adjusting to the situation. regards

  2. After laughing at 2 0f your articles, this one made my cry .
    What happened to your wife could happen to anyone of us. It just makes us feel so helpless as humans.
    Only the kindness of our loved ones can help us. That too is dependent on how much our children love us and upon Allah's blessing.

    May Allah give you strength and good spirits to live a good life together with your wife.
    Lot of love to you your wife, children and grand children.
    The cucu are very2 cute indeed.

  3. Pak Yeh the dementia my wife has lessen her if she wants to do anything that pleases her she does it without worrying about the effects it has on others. She no longer do any housework or cook because she tells me that she has been doing it all her life and it is time that she retires. So I do it now. No problems. And what matters is that without inhibitions she is happy almost all the worries at all. So life is good if you look at it that way. But we do have to keep an eye on her all the time because without inhibitions she will cross the road without worrying about cars. So we adjust...but life is good.