Sunday 29 May 2016

cakap cakap....William WL Loo and Me.

Early Sunday morning stroll in Clementi Market to buy breakfast n fruits. I see mostly senior citizens. They walk about gingerly, some with walking sticks, some aided by their domestic helper and a few couples hand in hand. They are frail, mostly thin , greying, their skin and faces spotted and aged by the years. But then I see beyond their physical appearance and I wonder if they are content or if they have much to look forward to in the day. Are they alone or are their children are living abroad. I also wonder what stories they have inside of them for i am certain there are many. They are rich in their experience and their eyes have seen so much more. They have a wisdom that only age can bring and a calmness and serenity that they have lived out most of their lives.

steadyaku47 comment : Saudara William...I am a a senior citizen...a warga emas...a pensioner. Let me share with you what was in my heart and in my head early this morning as those senior citizens were strolling around Clementi Market....many many thousand of miles away from me. 

I was up at 5.30 AM this morning...early night the night before. 

If there is one word to describe my frame of mind it you said it...CONTENT. There is no where I HAVE to go. Nothing I HAVE to do. All that I need to do today I HAVE already done the night before....wash the dirty dishes from dinner, the washing was done overnight and all it took was a few minutes to hang them out to dry and the house have been tidied up the day I am good. 

Being Winter I made myself a Nescafe and with the heater on in the living room, sat to watch what had transpired in the world outside mine as I was sleeping...The News....and as the News unravelled my thoughts go to where my daughter is...Ontario.

I have not seen her for over six years and that is along time to not see Family. I silently close my eyes and see her before me...a lingering hug for her and my grandchildren - Isabel and Sofie - and I then leave them before my heart's hard but we old people have learn to live without those whom we love much. Sometimes there is no other way...we each have our life to live. 

As I sit in the living room I think about my wife still sleeping in the has been over two years since she said anything to me...and yet we still "speak" to each other every day...and I smile that it is so. I am content that the quality of our life is still good..... but I understand that her life is deteriorating....dementia is doing that to her... but for now it is still good. I wonder how it will be within a year....but my mind tells me that I will manage. 

We old people do a lot of thinking about our past...the good, the bad and the "what could be"...but when you reach 60 you will know that we do that because the past is more comfortable than the future. The past we already know...the future we will most probably look at while it passes us by.

And then I think about what I will write for steadyaku47....and then I am lost in my thoughts as I take myself back to KL and back to the Malaysia that I knew, the Malaysia that now exists and the Malaysia that can be....and Saudara William....that is when I start to despair if the calmness and serenity I have lived through could ever be possible soon for you and your peers.....salam.         

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