Dummy guide to Abolishing the ISA

I truly emphatize with Najib on his current predicament of not having the hoped for  reaction from the Malaysian public to his recent announcement of repealing the ISA. What else is a Prime Minister to do to get some respect?  Without APCO to advise him, Najib seems to be on a “raft” up the Sungai Tembeling without a paddle.

In the spirit of reconciliation that Najib has initiated through his “raft” of acts to increase our civil liberties , I will share with him (gratis) my treasured: 

“DUMMY guide to abolishing  the ISA”. 

This was to be used as a reference point by Pakatan Rakyat when they repeal the ISA after their win at the 13^th General Election – but I guess Najib needs it more for now.

DUMMY GUIDE TO ABOLISHING THE ISA.

Announce cessation of ISA.

Note: Used phrases like “with immediate effect” or “immediately” or “as of today”.

Give thanks to GOD (preferably at a kenduri). Invite all (Muslims and non Muslims) past and present ISA detainees to the kenduri – good photo opportunity and will eclipse anything  the opposition can do to take any credit for this happening.

Use phrase like “Act of God”, “Divine Intervention” and even put in a mention of “Sembayang Hajat” by PAS (this will neutralize any attempts by PAS to try and take credit for the success of their  “Sembahayng Hajat”)

Emphasize “it is act of god” and that God has guided you to make this “right” decision – God is more effective then telling the people that they and their country are ready for change.

Announce release of all ISA detainees.

Note: Used phrases like “with immediate effect” or “immediately” or “as of today”. 

Further note: Then of course you must release them with immediate effect because “with immediate effect” means just that…with immediate effect!

Instruct all Minister in your Cabinet to refrain from announcing anything remotely connected to the ISA – like the introduction of new laws to counter terrorism.

Note: Send Nazri and your cousin Din overseas to attend a conference BEFORE your announcement – just in case they want to share the spotlight with you during your announcement.

 

Announce no new laws to replace ISA.

Note: Saying that new laws will be enacted to protect the peace, harmony and security of the country just does not fool the people anymore. The public will know that you are replacing the ISA with another draconian law. Passing a “This not an ISA law” might fool UMNO but not the public.

Announce no intention to enact new legislation to replace ISA

Rationale: Ditto. See previous rationale.

What to do after announcing the cessation of ISA.

• Go do that “turun padang” thingy and enjoy the massive increase in support from Rakyat for yourself, your First Lady (remember to tell this to Rosmah!) for UMNO and BN. Enjoy the huge ground swell of support for you personally and see the start of a personality cult for you and possibly the First Lady (possibly – this is not certain yet for Rosmah).
•  
• Reap electoral gains at 13^th GE
•  
• Win 13^th GE.
•  
• Secure another term as PM
•  
• Cancel all your overseas banking account, sell that house you had overseas which you intend to use as a refuge after your term as PM – you do not need it anymore.
•  

Optional:

• Sack Mukriz from the Cabinet.
• Tell Mahathir to shut up.
• Appoint Muhyiddin as Foreign Minister.
• Appoint anybody you like as your deputy.
• Enact legislation to allow you to be “President for Life”  Do not worry if UMNO is against this – the people will support you.
• Appoint an “independent” body headed by you, to asses the need for any opposition in Parliament, the need to have a general election every five years (after all you are already President for Life!).

P.S. While you are at it might as well hold the wedding of your daughter with that Khazakstan guy at Merdeka Square and invite everyone to the bash. Alls well that ends well.