steadyaku47

Sunday 11 September 2011

KPI...let me story you lah!



First posted on Thursday, July 1, 2010 (reprise)

When he became Prime Minister of Malaysia in April 2009 Najib said his cabinet would be in the forefront of serving the people and being responsive to their needs. He also emphasized the importance of leadership based on performance. To this end, he introduced a key performance indicator (KPI) for the ministries, adding that he would be personally involved in assessing the performance of all his ministers every six months.

"All these are being done to ensure that in the final analysis it is the people who will derive the benefits," he said. Najib said that as the head of the government, he realized that it would be the people who would evaluate his leadership.

In steadyaku47 continuing effort to assist the Rakyat to understand UMNO better we now come to the second part of our series after UMNOspeak.  In response to Najib’s pledge to introduce KPI to evaluate his Ministers, at great expense steadyaku47 have coop a group of consultants (whose motto is “get good money and do nothing”) recommended by UMNO to do an unbiased (please see UMNOspeak for what this means!) KPI evaluation of Barisan Nasional Cabinet members. Unfortunately because these “get good money and do nothing” consultant charge a hell of a lot of ringgit steadyaku47 was only able to evaluate a limited number of the cabinet members.

 PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA.
NAJIB TUN RAZAK
Since our last evaluation report, this Prime Minister has reached rock bottom and shows sign of starting to dig without the assistance of any mechanical devices.

MUHYIDDIN YASSIN
DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA.
He sets very low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them without assistance from anybody!


HISHAMMUDDIN TUN HUSSEIN
MINISTER OF HOME AFFAIRS
When he opens up his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whatever foot was previously in there. He has been forbidden to play with any weapons (especially Keris) as he is prone to intentionally and directly injuring his body tissue without suicidal intent (we can't win all the time!)

 NAZRI AZIZ
MINISTER LAW AND PARLIMENT
His men will follow him anywhere but out of a morbid curiosity as to where he is heading...usually he self-destructs!

 NOR MOHAMED YAKCOP
MINISTER ECONOMIC PLANNING UNIT.
 Works well under constant supervision and when conered like a rat in a trap. He has a tendency to mistakenly refer to himself as a first-tier Bumiputra - though a former Prime Minister considers this is OK lah!

RAIS YATIM
MINISTER OF INFORMATION, COMMUNICATION & CULTURE.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. Should have been given a different portfolio where he has no direct excess to print and electronic media.

AHMAD ZAHID HAMIDI
MINISTER OF DEFENCE
This employee should go far – the sooner he starts the better.


 SAMY VELU
(Not a Minister but by special request he is our guest artist).This guy is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

3 comments:

  1. Spot on man. How about report card on the rest of highly paid but unproductive spongers like Ah Khoon? I can't even remember their names nor their faces but I'm sure they are hiding somewhere planning their next money grabbing "negotiated tender" projects.

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  2. What we hoped for in our ministers and prime minister and wife of pm was at least a semblance or show of decency, since the other qualities of intelligence, integrity and honor are sadly lacking. But we can't even get that. Everyday, there must be something that makes ordinary people shake their heads and wonder where these aliens come from

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  3. Hi

    I read this post two times.

    I like it so much, please try to keep posting.

    Let me introduce other material that may be good for our community.

    Source: Healthcare KPIs

    Best regards
    Henry

    ReplyDelete